Helping my kids

If your partner or a family member is hurting you, it can affect your kids.

You might have tried hard to stop them knowing what’s going on or from seeing arguments or abuse, but children are very sensitive and usually pick up on what’s happening. They might be worried, frightened or confused.

Kids have the right to grow up in a safe and caring environment. If they feel unsafe at home it can affect their behaviour and their ability to concentrate at school. Your children can’t feel safe or happy knowing that you’re being hurt.

It can be a struggle to cope with the violence as well as respond to the needs of your kids. You might be worried about what to do and how you can protect your kids.

Here are some things that can help you and your kids

  • Remember – you’re not to blame for the way the abusive person is treating you. They are doing the wrong thing, not you. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help.
  • Look after yourself. Ask for support from your friends or family. Find someone to look after your kids to give you a break and time to think.
  • Contact family violence services. There are counselling services and groups to help kids who have been affected by living with violence. There are also services to help you as a parent.
  • Help your children. If you can, talk to your kids about how they’re feeling and reassure them that the violence isn’t their fault. Help them to plan where to go and who to call if they don’t feel safe.
  • For tips on how to support yourself and your kids, read Choosing Positive Paths, our guide for parents and carers of kids affected by family violence.